Let's Get Cozy

Dec 26, 2025
3 min read

Ah, the coziness of winter. In every song and movie and even the Broadway musical Frozen, coziness means alcohol. Doesn’t it sound nice to relax with some friends or a book, and a glass of wine or a crisp, cold martini, or eggnog (blech, never was my drink of choice…)?

NO!

Because that’s not reality. Alcohol makes you feel cozy for the first few sips, or maybe even for one entire drink – but if that drink leads to another…and another…then reality isn’t so warm and fuzzy. Your brain might feel fuzzy, and your body might overheat in the night as you sweat it off, but I don’t think that’s what the songs and movies and musicals are trying to capture.

So, no. It’s been over a year since my last drink, and I have been through a lot during that time. And all these experiences have helped me build up a new arsenal of coping strategies so strong that I’ve never thought about going back for longer than, oh, maybe five minutes. Cravings related to dulling my senses and drowning my anxiety are a thing of the past. Give me a puzzle or some EFT tapping any day.

But cravings for coziness? That’s another story. They hit all the time during this season, especially now that I’ve been sober successfully for a year. Clare Pooley calls it “The Wine Witch” (The Sober Diaries – excellent read!). This witch calls out to you, convincing you that you can TOTALLY have a drink and be fine. Just one. Surely now you know how to “handle” your alcohol and wouldn’t end up drunk. And this witch is so glamorous and sophisticated, surrounded by interesting people and always off on exciting adventures…she’s what every woman aspires to be like. But she’s a myth, an image perpetuated by marketing.

My advice is twofold: first, redesign your wine witch, so when she appears in your mind you remember what drinking truly feels like. Mine wears sunglasses and an incredibly chic floppy hat – and once you take those off you see it was just a disguise, hiding the bags under her eyes, wrinkly old skin, and an aura of sadness.

Second, redefine cozy by actively seeking out alternatives – ones that don’t have side effects. I have lots of blankets, warm slippers, and tasty non-alcoholic beverages always at the ready. And I do enjoy warm hugs (seriously, I do still love Disney movies).

And please remember – there’s no line in the sand to delineate whether you’re alcoholic “enough” to merit quitting drinking completely. If you are drinking more than you want to, for ANY reason (and I’ve had several in the past twenty years…saving all that for the eventual memoir…), you can quit. You don’t have to explain yourself. Let people imagine the “worst” of you (hint: people will always tell their own stories about you, who cares if being your own hero makes them think you’re a villain). For more on this topic, please revisit my previous post: The Dirty "A" Word

Making the decision to quit is hard. What comes after may be harder. But both are worth it. A sober life is a cozy life.